Thursday, August 21, 2008

Changes

If a girl's gotta get a BFN on her last IVF with her own eggs she could not choose a better time than ICLW! Yay empathetic comments!

To tell the truth I'm surprised and disappointed that I am not pregnant. I thought when push came to shove things would work out even if I did have to work harder, spend more money, be tougher than the average person is called-on to be. After all that work and faith I thought that in the end it would all work out. For most people it does. Most people, after multiple IVF's, do get pregnant. The only thing about IVF that scared me was the fact that it was the last chance. And now it's over and I've been unsuccessful. At times I burst out in tears (rarely). Other times I am more analytical. Right now my current mood is: mope (mope-y?, mope-ish?)

I wish to write openly about the next phase of this venture. I can't do that and remain open about my identity. I'll be making changes to this blog. Need to remove names, pictures and other identifying information. If you use g.o.o.g.l.e r.e.a.d.e.r I apologize if you get many updates from me that are not new posts. It's just me editing old posts and re-publishing.

I think my family deserves some privacy while I do my emotional/spiritual work.

13 comments:

bleu said...

Sending lots of love during the difficult and transitional time.

Ophelia said...

{{{HUGS}}} Your faithful readers are here for ya hun!

renovationgirl said...

I'm so sorry...we were where you are now last year except we were officially out of money and therefore completely done. I know how hard it is to go through this and work and raise a child. I'm so sorry for you!

alicia said...

hugs! I am sorry this last IVF did not work, I am glad to hear you will still be blogging, just more annoymously!

here from ICLW

PJ said...

I think you can edit and it won't show up in reader. I think, because I know I've done it.

Jaymee said...

just got here. so sorry. sending you big hugs and lots of understanding.

Jenni said...

Sending lots of love and prayers. Wow, I think you are showing great strength.

soapchick said...

Best wishes on your journey with your emotional and spiritual work. You'll be amazed a year from now!

Cassandra said...

Here from ICLW...
I am so sorry to hear about your BFN.

You should take as much time as you need to analyze, mope, or anything else that helps you.

Kristin said...

I am so sorry. I hope the next step in your journey is a rousing success.

Karen said...

I'm so sorry that this IVF didn't work. I did my final one in April and I know how it feels to wonder why couldn't it have been you. Being on the crap side of the odds stinks. I hope wherever you go from here brings happier endings.

ICLW

Tam said...

I'm so so sorry, I'm angry and hurt for you, it's just not fair at all.

Be good to yourself now, i'm hoping that this journey comes to a happy ending real soon.

Much love xxx

Joonie said...

I'm sorry this cycle didn't work out for you. My thought are with you.