....I'm pretty sure this fetus has restless leg syndrome.
Everything is looking right on track. Weight gain is a little under 25 pounds, baby is the right size, my blood pressure is fine, no real swelling to speak of (which is why I can "skank"around in my high heels...Teresa, you crack me up!). Still wearing my wedding ring.
I seem to be good at the pregnancy thing...which I know is no small thing and I am very grateful. I just couldn't get here on my own.
I think we have decided on her name. I need to confirm the middle name with some research (from my tribal language) and pick out some boy names options just in case we get surprised by a penis. Nothing worse than not being prepared for a surprise penis. I usually want/expect lots of warning before a penis encounter. I'm sure I'm not alone in that.
One more random thing. There is a piece of black string on the top stair in my house. It's all balled up so as to look like a spider or bug or something. I jump at it EVERY FRIGGEN TIME I go downstairs! You'd think 1) I'd learn it's just a piece of string 2) I'd pick it up. But these days I'm only stooping for things that are really important. Mostly I just end up kicking things over to where Mr. Peeveme is and asking him to pick it up for me. And you KNOW I'm all dramatic and whiny about it. I'm sure he thinks I'm a moron and the man might have a point. I guess you just get to a certain girth and the very thought of bending at your nonexistent waist sends one into fits of annoyance. I usually drop my car keys about twice a day and the amount of whining, swearing, grimacing and clumsy contorting I engage in to retrieve them (before I instantly drop the AGAIN and have to do an repeat performance) must be a sight to behold. I am thisfaraway from kicking them over to my car and asking the first stranger I encounter to pick them up for me.
I don't think I am taking take full advantage of this "with child" thing. I should be cutting in line at the grocery store, asking co-workers to heat up my lunch for me/fetch my mail, carry things to my car for me. What else should I be extorting while I still have the belly?
So that's where I am:
Kicking reflex: Is strong (Both baby and me)
Startle reflex: Is strong
Annoyed reflex: Is strong
Coercing people into doing things for me reflex: Underway!
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8 comments:
Kicking keys to strangers? That is too funny. You don't have much longer!
I say, take full advantage. You worked hard to get here!
Yes, a little warning before encountering a penis is a good thing.
Strangers should totally be picking up your car keys! Just stand there and stare mournfully at them until someone picks them up for you. At home, though, you have a 2 year old, and in their good moods they are quite excellent helpers. So get Piccolina to pick up that spider/string for you!
Agreed...take full advantage of all you can!! That whole bending over thing just sounds like a blast. I was LMAO over the key story! Don't worry, hopefully I'll get to that point in a few more months and you can laugh at me ;)
your post cracked me up.
Taking advantage 101
no ' taking your turn' .... ever (including but not limited to: movies, grocery, gas stations, bathrooms, elevators, department stores, eateries of all kinds and public transport.
No one wants to be suprised by a penis! No kidding! In general!
Hilarious post!!
Glad things are looking so well for you right now... not much left to go, so I think it's safe to assume you'll pass through this whole pregnancy still sexified! (...albeit unable to bend... but that happens to the best of us. Hell, it's already happened to me somewhat since this kid won't get out of my cervical area.)
Ha ha! I don't think I've taken full advantage of this pregnancy-thing either although if you ask my HUSBAND, he'd probably disagree. ;-) I save up all my whining for home!
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