Sorry for the lack of consistent posting. It's now been over 3 weeks since the Donor said she'd get Af in 1-2 weeks. In between breathing, talking myself out of thinking the Donor has changed her mind, and forcing my self not to call to DE coordinator hourly (JK...I only called ONCE this entire time), I am fighting off a major case of BCP induced CRAZIES. This must be what menopause feels like. If it weren't down-right dangerous it would be funny. I remember this feeling when I went on the pill for 11 days last April for IVF #1. I have now exceeded 11 days and the Donor has not even started suppression.
I feel like shit emotionally and physically.
Lets start with the physical. I'm having hot flashes, my eyes feel like they have sand in them (sever dry eye). I'm hungry all the time. I can't fall asleep or stay asleep without a sleep aid. Inexplicably my middle finger hurts.
Ah but the physical is nothing compared to the emotional/psychological.
Anxiety, edginess, tension, anger, hopelessness. And that's on a good day. Bouts of despair can instantly turn into violent rage. I'm not kidding about the violent thing. I' having a hard time not throwing things at people or challenging strangers to fights. Again, not kidding. I told Mr. Peeveme to keep some cash handy for my bail because I am likely to be involved in some kind of road rage incident that will undoubtedly be viewable on youtube. More than once I have found myself trying to make eye contact with some offender to my vehicular sensibilities. They, wisely, do not return my glare somehow sensing their proximity to a profanity laced invitation to settle this like men or menopausal women which, I have come to find out are MUCH more hostile, dangerous and unpredictable. As it is, I am left to flip-off these cowardly, commuting transgressors. Oh, mystery solved!
I imagine if John Malkovich went on the pill he'd sound a lot like me. I can't get through a conversation, nay a sentence, without the aid of the f-word. It very handy that it can be used as a verb, adjective, adverb, and noun. To be fare, I was not most delicate or ladylike orator to begin with but I have raised my game from merely course and irreverent to downright vulgar and abusive.
And I have a few more weeks of this.
My saving grace is that Piccolina lacks the manual dexterity to raise her middle finger. However, as substitute she is pointing at other cars. And we all know how I feel about that.