A few of the blogs I read have been posting about sex lives (or lack there-of). It got me to thinking and I just wanted to get some feedback on this.
Having just had the sex last night, I'm feeling a sense of relief. Like I just bought myself a few days. Is that so very wrong?
Seriously, after working all day, feeding a toddler, and cooking up scrumptious meals every night if I can dispense with the "putting out" I'd like to. I know I sound like the typical suburban house-wife but man, sex can be a chore. I should just get myself a minivan and call it a day...Oh wait. I do have a minivan (Shut-up. Who are you? Mario-f*ucking Andretti)
Now, truth be told Mr. Peeveme is all sorts of hotness. Hot as the day is long. And he's nice and super-hygienic. The man flosses 2 times a day! And he "gets" me and my sick sense of humor. And tells me I'm pretty. But nothing sucks the sexy out of a woman like infertility, a teen-aged step-son who just flunked high school, and a huge pile of clothes needing to be ironed.
I'd love to have a hot sex life again. I remember the days when we'd wake up in the middle of the night and go at it. If I put the moves on Mr. Peeveme at 2am nowadays he'd punch me in the face thinking I was a thief who had broken in.
I know the man deserves more sex and he deserves more than just "put out" sex. But right now a little "put out" sex is what I can muster and it's better than nothing.
In a few weeks/months when IVF #2 is done and the teenager moves out (Yes Please!) we'll get back to our Jolie/Pitt sex life...you know...except without the resulting procreation.
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Day to day struggles, complaints, observations while trying to build a family despite infertility (Primary and Secondary and now with donor eggs), have a career, and live a meaningful life.
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About Me
- Peeveme
- married, mother to a toddler after infertility, step-parent to teenager who lives with us, trying to have baby #2 with an astounding lack of success. Finally successful once we tried donor eggs. Currently trying to balance complaining and appreciation.
Blog Archive
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2008
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June
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- Project Recognition
- Small Victories Make Life Worth Living
- Oh so Vexy
- HIgh FSH and the OS Factor (Ovarian Slope Factor/O...
- Mortified
- Solstice Solace
- Secret Good Deed
- Thanks...still processing
- Trying to get down to the heart of the matter: Cha...
- Slap Happy
- Engaging
- Weird Confession
- I'm ready for my prodigious pregnancy now
- Oh, now I'm the Asshole?
- Judgement
- It's not you it's me
- Wont you be my Neighbor* Now with Update
- Rhoid Rage
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June
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I Capture
Perfect Moments.
TTC History and current status
Trying since Jan 2004 when I was 33. I have one Daughter who is 2. Trying for another baby for over a year. One m.c and 2 IVF's later we are preparing for IVF#3 with Donor eggs. . I am 38.
Diagnosis= unexplained..but what that really means is poor egg quality.
FSH
April 2008: 11.8
March 2008: 10.7
November 2007: 6
November 2004: 3.9
Considered a poor responder but I have gotten OHSS on inject/iui cycles. Go figure!
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IVF #3. Donor eggs. Success. Healthy baby girl born Aug 19, 2009. 7 frozen blasts.
IVF #2no BCP...Antagonist protocol with a little estrogen priming . Gonal-f and Menopur. Maximum medication. 7 egg retrieved. 5 mature. 6 fertalized. ET 3 embys: 2-8celled, 1-6 cell. BFN
IVF #1 April/May 08 On max meds...produced 4 mature eggs and a bunch of smaller ones which did not grow fast enough..2 survived to ET (1-8 celled, 1-5celled)...BFN.
Oct 07-Jan 08- 4 iui's on lots of Gonal-F. Most times I had 3-4 mature follicles..BFN. Oh and I got OHSS twice.
April 07- Inject /iui BFP! Not to last very long. At 7 week u/s we were measuring behind. HCG not doubling as it should Waited for over a month to m/c naturally. Had to wait most of the summer for HCG to go down. Increased my wine intake from "moderate" to "heavy". I don't want to complain about that Summer but let's just say I wont be making any custom T-shirts with Summer 2007! emblazoned on them.
March 07- 1st inject/iui for baby #2. BFN
Feb 07- Stopped breast feeding to start trying for baby #2. I loved breastfeeding and hated to stop but I felt I needed to get a move on with baby #2.
Aug 06- Healthy-live baby!
Jan 05-Oct 05- 7 clomid/iui cycles and 2 inject/iui cycles BFP on 2nd inject cycle
Jan 04-Jan 05- Natural cycles with Charting..actual sex
Diagnosis= unexplained..but what that really means is poor egg quality.
FSH
April 2008: 11.8
March 2008: 10.7
November 2007: 6
November 2004: 3.9
Considered a poor responder but I have gotten OHSS on inject/iui cycles. Go figure!
____________________________________________
IVF #3. Donor eggs. Success. Healthy baby girl born Aug 19, 2009. 7 frozen blasts.
IVF #2no BCP...Antagonist protocol with a little estrogen priming . Gonal-f and Menopur. Maximum medication. 7 egg retrieved. 5 mature. 6 fertalized. ET 3 embys: 2-8celled, 1-6 cell. BFN
IVF #1 April/May 08 On max meds...produced 4 mature eggs and a bunch of smaller ones which did not grow fast enough..2 survived to ET (1-8 celled, 1-5celled)...BFN.
Oct 07-Jan 08- 4 iui's on lots of Gonal-F. Most times I had 3-4 mature follicles..BFN. Oh and I got OHSS twice.
April 07- Inject /iui BFP! Not to last very long. At 7 week u/s we were measuring behind. HCG not doubling as it should Waited for over a month to m/c naturally. Had to wait most of the summer for HCG to go down. Increased my wine intake from "moderate" to "heavy". I don't want to complain about that Summer but let's just say I wont be making any custom T-shirts with Summer 2007! emblazoned on them.
March 07- 1st inject/iui for baby #2. BFN
Feb 07- Stopped breast feeding to start trying for baby #2. I loved breastfeeding and hated to stop but I felt I needed to get a move on with baby #2.
Aug 06- Healthy-live baby!
Jan 05-Oct 05- 7 clomid/iui cycles and 2 inject/iui cycles BFP on 2nd inject cycle
Jan 04-Jan 05- Natural cycles with Charting..actual sex
I Capture
Perfect Moments.
12 comments:
"If I put the moves on Mr. P. at 2am nowadays he'd punch me in the face thinking I was a thief who had broken in." --- That is a great line!
Hysterical post and oh-so-true! I'm right there with you. Seems like the only time I want to is when I am ovulating...and I only go for it then in the hopes that a miracle happens. Infertility is such a mind f%#&!
May I send you roses as a thank you for this post?
I always feel bad because I'm all "Dont touch me" until baby making time and then I am obsessed. My husband feels used.
Um, well, I thought we were going to be friends, but if you're going to be putting out all the time, then, well, I'm not sure I can handle all that pressure.
I can't even go through the motions. I swear, moths fly out and creaking noises can be heard when I spread em at the RE's office.
But seriously, Good for you! Baby steps.
A year ago it was like that for me. There was so much pressure to do it during ovulation time and it led to some very unpleasurable and stressful sex. We've somehow got our mojo back, but it has taken some time. I suppose it's because we know we can't really get pregnant through sex (unless a miracle occurs). Granted we don't have a teenager at home either.
this cracked me up in a hits-a-bit-too-close-to-home sort of way. infertility does just drag the sex right out of you. at least you've got the toddler (and step-teen) as good excuses for exhaustion. I got nothing. I'm still recovering from going from all that required (specifically timed) sex, to what's the point, to oh yeah, that's what I like... sad but true. t
thanks for the laugh on kind of a sore subject at home. shhh.
That was hilarious! I barely even do the "put out" sex anymore. Poor DH. Now that I am doing IVF, even the ovulation sex has stopped...
ahhh. I've been on pelvic rest forever. I would LOVE to have hot sex~
I seriously considered waking my hubby up with a little action yesterday morning, but like you I thought I'd wind up with a punch instead of the thanks I'd deserve. Poor guy. You are most definitely not alone. As a matter of fact, I expect my next blog entry to be on this very topic.
LOL, BTDT too! It's a few years after my IF baby was born now and it's got a lot more to do with the teens being here.
Yes, sometimes you do end up with the 'put out' stuff... but never tell them that's what it was, right?!
Oh I'm am so there. I'm desperately trying to figure out a way to get interested in IT again. And I used to be such a horn-dog. *sigh*
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