Didn't mean to drop off the face of the earth. With work and getting ready for the holidays and battling mornings sickness and fatigue I just don't have the time or the raw material to post. Seriously, nobody wants to hear me whine about being tired and sick or about the gifts I purchased on Amazondotcom (House season 4 [Aunt], Monk season 6 [Great Aunt], a new scale for me and a book for Mr. Peeveme).
I'm still alive. I'm sure baby is still alive. In the grand scheme of things everything is wonderful.
I have been been alternately sorting out and ignoring emotions regarding this DE thing. It will be time to write about them soon enough but I want to let things congeal a bit. It's just still really present in my mind (the fact that this child is from a donor). Everyone said, "You'll never even think about it" but I do. I am. I imagine I always will. Not that I regret it. Not that it takes away from the excitement, anticipation and love for this child that I feel. But I am still sad that my eggs couldn't do it. Still anticipating a life full of little things that will make me sad. Or big things that will make my children sad and maybe even feel disconnected. I cringe when I think about that. The effect this will have on them. But I always say I need to deal with things as they are and not as I wish them to be. I also think that if I don't think this through I wont be able to help my children through whatever they may go through when it's time for them to know. (That sentence needs a serious re-write)
In many ways I think this journey of DE has just started. I thought it would be over when I got pregnant but now I see it will be a part of everything for a long time.