Monday, August 10, 2009

To my Little Girl on the Eve of her Birth

Or maybe the fortnight...who knows when you will finally arrive!

As anxious as I am to hold you in my arms I am very calm and happy to still have you all to myself. To be this connected to you. To feel your every move, breath for you, eat for you and sustain you in such a literal manner. Soon you will be outside and Pappa, sister, Nonna, Nonno, Abuelita, Grandfather, aunts, uncles and everyone else is going to get their hands on you. But for now you are just mine.

I have wanted you for so long I don't mind waiting a few more days for you to arrive. Everyone else is so anxious but I know you will come when you are ready.

I love that you kick me in the ribs whenever I bend over or lean forward to claim your space. You are most active after dinner and at about 3 in the morning. Seeing your foot stretch across my belly never gets old even if it hurts. I say to you, "Ok, Bambina, get comfortable already please". Or sometimes, "Good Lord, Bambina, give it up already". But I never tire of it.

Most nights we eat a big bowl of non-fat yogurt with vanilla granola. We love it. You also seem to really want me to eat fruit all the time. At least that is what I have been craving this pregnancy.

Your big sister wants to be called Baby Bambina instead of her own name. She's anxious for you to sit next to her in your car seat. She's going to be a little jealous of you for a while but it will pass and I hope the two of you will be life- long friends. My best friends have always been my sisters.

I am your Mamma and you are my child. I love you more than I can describe. The circumstances surrounding your life are little more complex than most but those facts will always be true.

As we discover who you are and navigate our way through life as a family, there is so much I want for you. I want you to know you are loved, you have connections and draw strength from multiple family trees, you are complete just the way you are. Whatever life brings, you stand on a solid foundation. Many times I will want time to stand still so I can hold you a little longer but mostly I can not wait to see you grow into the person you are to become. My purpose is to let you discover your purpose. And while these are my last few days and hours of being your literal life-line, as your mother, my life is devoted to yours.

8 comments:

IVF 40+ said...

glorious

Summer said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts to Bambina. This was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.

Joonie said...

Such beautiful sentiments! I can't stop my tears!

Brenda said...

Absolutely beautiful....

Renovation Girl said...

sniff sniff...lovely....

Kami said...

This is a beautiful post! Enjoy your last few hours or days together.

I hope your birth is smooth.

Best When Used By said...

This was so heartfelt, so pure, I loved and hung onto every word...and felt a bit like I was eavesdropping on one of the most precious and private conversations ever. Thank you for allowing us to listen in.

areyoukiddingme said...

Wonderful - I hope both your girls read this someday, so they can know how loved they are.