Thank you so much for your comment. Especially rewriting it so that it clearly reflected your intent...it's so hard to write about controversial and personal things.
Yes, I did write as though all women who get c-sections are unthinking and careless. No, I do not think all women who gate c-sections are that way. I do understand that there are many different reasons but the only ones I find problematic are the ones that I think are done for convenience rather than being medically necessary.
C-sections are not evil and many women do have legitimate medical reasons why they are necessarily. You are certainly one of them. But I see your situation as very different from most. The fact that you wish you didn't have to have one makes your situation so very different.
Your point about the "lecturing" you get is very well taken and I agree that is the case. This is one of many areas in which people can get holier than thou and I am no exception. Sorry you have had to endure it. That has got to be really annoying. Yes, we can get preachy about it but I don't think this "education" is directed at those who do understand the larger medical issues involved and have a medical reason for needed a c-section even if you are on the receiving end of it.
Sorry if I came off judging all c-sections and medicated labors.
There are those women who just want a c-section (and all the other interventions like membrane stripping, epidurals ect), don't know and don't want to know about any risks. In truth, I do judge this behavior. These are often the same women who are dismissive or anyone who chooses unmedicated labors. Not all but the means ones usually fall into this category.
Then there are those who were mid-labor but interventions led to a c-section that might not have been necessary. I don't judge this but I also think that most of these could have been avoided if the initial interventions had been avoided OR if their medical providers weren't eager to conduct c-sections (I think they are trying to avoid any problems and malpractice suits). I think many of these women end up feeling like a failure and that's too bad. When you are in that position of being tired, panicked, vulnerable...it's more than understandable to just do whatever your D.r suggests. This is when I do get preachy...not that the woman made a mistake but that her Dr's did her a disservice by sticking to the protocols and not helping the woman to have the labor she wanted.
There are also those c-sections that are medically necessary. I include twins in this (however there are many women who deliver twins just fine vaginally..but wow...I can't even imagine the type of strength and endurance that would take). However, I think this situation is rarer than the first two.
So, I guess my first post was more about woman who do not do any research and yet are dismissive and actually very mean to anyone who even attempts an unmedicated labor and delivery. From the comments here it happens a lot.
I hope that helps a bit. I also have learned not to assume every c-section is unthinking and to hold my judgment (and my tongue). Unless someone dare be dismissive of my choice....then they are going to get it right back.